We just got back from my tests today - I had three vacuum biopsies. It wasn't too bad, but pretty sore right now and icing on and off for 20 minutes the rest of the night. We'll know the results in a few days, hopefully it will be good news and I won't have to do chemo before surgery. I am feeling SO much better mentally and very positive. At the hospital, they are all wondering why I smile and giggle so much, they must think I'm completely insane.
YESTERDAY was the longest day of my life. By 1pm, it felt like one week had gone by, and every second I was excruciatingly nervous/anxious/scared... there was no escape from my thoughts no matter how much we tried to do things to distract us. Finally, my mom's friend (who happens to be my old middle school computer teacher) came by for a while and she brought us a tray of baked ziti for tonight. She is a real sweetheart.
After a few hours, I finally had a mini-breakdown and let it all out. I recouped, put some frozen spoons over my eyes, and prepared for our dinner guests. We had some friends over (Tuna, his girlfriend, and her daughter) and we made delicious seared tuna steaks on the grill, which made for some quite funny comments (such as, "How do you like your Tuna?" and "This is the best Tuna I've ever eaten"). It was friggin' delicious. Cooking and guests are really a blessing to keep my mind busy since I'm not working.
I have been reading (and crying) through everyone's comments. I can't believe all of the support I have and will definitely respond soon when I am mentally prepared to do so.... but I just wanted to say that I take them all to heart, and they have touched me deeply and are giving me the strength to move forward with this. I certainly cannot do it alone and I am the luckiest girl in the world to be so loved :o)
More to follow... stay posted!
xoxo
Hey wife,
ReplyDeleteThat tuna was the best I have ever eaten! You are such a great cook. You know what "The Way To A Man's Heart Is Through His Stomach" means :) You are the best wife in this world!
I love you.
your hubby
If you ever want someone to cry to ... or someone to make you laugh I will try my best. Laughter is the best medicine. :)
ReplyDeleteOK Jen,here I go again. Yesterday, I tried, wrote a comment, could not figure out what to do, emailed your mom, sent her my notes, and now I think I may have done this right. Thinking of you and sending you tons of strength and another ton of calmness, and a light, cool SoFla breeze, plus tons of love.
ReplyDeleteBetty
I'm so proud of my girl:) Ok, Celal, our girl...I guess I'll have to learn to share
ReplyDeleteThats what me and my diamond want to hear from you. This is just a problem in your happy and long life. Please dont give more importance than it deserves. It is just a illness. When we think your illness and you together it becomes a so little that we cant see it... It looks like a HAMSİ fish swimming with a blue whale:)
ReplyDeleteWe belive that we are very lucky because especialy for this kind, there are a lot of solutions. You have everything you need. You have enough courage and mental power and a strong husband:) It is a so small problem that you dont need to do anything more, just be your self...
We also wrote a poet for you and Cico..
Eggs in the boxes
Pls dont forget us
If you forget us
We got offended
And kiss your eyes
Pls kamas:)) If you dont, we will..:)
Diamond & İrfan
Jennifer,
ReplyDeleteI am one of your mom's lunch buddies and I hear all about you! I am thinking of you everyday and I know you will beat this!
Melissa :)
{{{{{{Jen}}}}}}} You are still a 10 year old at the New Kids on the Block concert.
ReplyDeleteI am so unbelievably upset but I know you are going to be fine.
My mom is a 5 year survivor and she is putting you on her Church's prayer wall. We are all here for you!!
Jen,
ReplyDeleteThis comment is from Linda's sister.
Jen,
My sister Linda works with your mom and she told me all about you. I am a breast cancer survivor,(1 1/2 years) and so are you. This isn't a club that you want to join, but the members are awesome. If you ever want to talk and compare notes, doctors, or ta ta's, give me a call or email me at lb2boys@aol.com I've been where you are at and believe me, it does get easier. Stay positive, Lori
Dear Jen, I am new to this blog thing so sorry for writing so late. I tried to call Celal from his Turkish cell phone but it was turned off, I will try again.
ReplyDeleteI am praying for you and I know with this much love and your friends' strength you will get over this. When you look back these years in the future, you will remember how much you were loved and cared.
I am still waiting you guys to visit me in İzmir this summer, you can not escape this time :)
XOXOX
Fatih