Good news (for now)

I was in the midst of a dream -- having a conversation with the radiology receptionist to schedule my appointments, casually discussing Gus Van Sant movies (why?) -- when I awoke to my mom screaming, "Jennifer! Jennifer!" as she ran down the hallway to our bedroom. She burst into the room, "I have good news! I have good news!" (Side note: If you don't know my mom, you have to understand that she has the energy of a two-year-old child all hours of the day and it's the funniest thing ever). If you don't know me well, you'll need to know here that I'm not a cheery, energetic morning person. Anyway, cheerleader mom continues to say that she just got off the phone with the doctor and that I will not need chemotherapy before my surgery! She spoke with my oncology surgeon who spoke with the oncologist who read the pathology reports of my biopsy results.

We are all pretty happy about this, but I must confess that I lie on the line between pragmatic and cautiously optimistic, so I'm not yet doing cartwheels and flips. We will hopefully be visiting with an oncologist tomorrow for a second opinion and to ask some questions and confirm that this is a good thing. I'm not sure this rules out chemo in the long run, but in the scheme of the next month, it's pretty damn good news. We are assuming that this means the cancer is not so bad, but I really can't say that at this point until we talk to the doctors. Honestly, I have been the most worried about the long-term effects of the chemo (such as complete infertility, as if I didn't have enough fertility issues with the endometriosis) so for this reason alone I am very happy.

Other than this, not much else is going on in my medical realm. I will have that genetic blood test next Tuesday, and then meet with the reconstruction surgeon on Wednesday. We have breathing room.

We have been keeping ourselves pretty busy the past few days. My mom's friends are amazing and they have brought us delicious meals, in addition to some cooking we've done. Thanks to everyone for the fruits, baked ziti, salads, meatballs, spinach dip, wines, chicken and beans, rice... and of course the great company. We also have been shopaholics to keep our minds busy. We're working on a few projects in my mom's new house, the priority of which is decorating our bedroom. It's nice to have some things to keep us productive since neither Celal nor I are working here. I'll be sanding down a cedar chest shortly so we can refinish it. I also just finished making a batch of homemade Rice Gelato from the book The Perfect Scoop (by David Leibovitz, one of my favorite bloggers), which we will freeze later tonight.

Aside from keeping busy, I've been an emotional rollercoaster. I love reading everyone's messages, and have cried through many of them. I had a few mini-meltdowns. The nights are the worst, and it has been ridiculously difficult to fall asleep. I just started reading a new book (A Year in Provence, takes me back to our honeymoon) so it's helping but my mind still wanders into the darkness. The mornings are the best. I love waking up to sunshine and always have a renewed optimism when I see the blue skies and fluffy clouds. I'm also a sucker for fresh OJ. But the days are still long. It's an insane thought that I just got diagnosed in Istanbul one week and two days ago. These have been the longest days of my life.